Charles Dickens’s Christmas essay teaches how the holidays change as we get older
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Charles Dickens, more than any writer before or since, taught the world how to be happy It’s Christmas. However, among his many favorite works is a short essay – now largely forgotten – in which he depicted not Christmas as children know it, but Christmas as it appears to us after years have passed and life has become more difficult. With apologies for trying to detract from the classic, I have taken great liberties in updating Dickens’s sentiments for a modern audience, confident that they are as relevant today as when he first wrote them, in the 1850s.
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As we get older, Christmas becomes less about what we get and more about who and what we are you are welcome.
We welcome people, of course – family, friends, neighbors and even the occasional stranger who finds himself at our table. But Christmas asks us to embrace more than that. Indeed, Christmas is, in itself, an act of hospitality – not just of the home, but of the soul.
When we were young, the joy of Christmas felt simple and perfect. We had everything we wanted next to the Christmas tree. There was no need to accept anything else. The days were pale in the clear, moving light of dawn, the future wide open with many possibilities and an eternity that seemed to lie before us.
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As we grow older, we see how the Christmas holiday changes. (Stock)
But inevitably life grew more serious – and filled with shadows. There are dreams that we once dreamed about that did not come true. The life we thought we were going to live. The person we thought we would be. The marriage we hoped never happened – or didn’t last. A call that never happened. The children who never came. Ways in space, sparkling with promise, that were never ours.
Most of the year, we keep these sad thoughts locked away. But at Christmas, they gently knocked on the door. And Christmas asks us to bring them in.
Not to cry for them. Not pretending they never cared. But inviting them to sit with us next to the Christmas tree, under soft lights, among familiar voices. These old dreams do not come to insult us. They came to remind us that we once had deep hope – and that deep hope was never foolish, but a sign of living brightly.
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Then there are the people we love and lose – not death, but time, misunderstanding, distance and separation. Christmas doesn’t allow for the simple lie that it doesn’t matter anymore. It insists, kindly but firmly, that love once given somehow remains real forever.
If the conscience allows and the wounds did not make it impossible, we accept at least the memory of these old lovers to live in peace with us next to the Christmas tree.
Then there are those sad ghosts from the city of the dead. Those who once sat at our table, who laughed in our homes, who strengthened us when we were young or walked beside us when we were afraid. They come back now, not as ghosts to scare us, but as spiritual presences to bless us. They took their places near the Christmas tree, not wanting tears, but giving thanks – for the love we gave them and still give them, and not to forget.
Then there are our enemies.
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As we grow older, the world seems to fall apart more easily and, yes, more violently. The difference is stark. Words become weapons. People we once admired – or at least understood – became symbols of everything we think is wrong with the world. Christmas enters this battlefield and asks for something absurd: that we accept even those who oppose us.
If the conscience allows and the wounds did not make it impossible, we accept at least the memory of these old lovers to live in peace with us next to the Christmas tree.
Not by giving the truth. Not by justifying cruelty, ignorance and stupidity. But remembering that people are not the only arguments they make or the positions they have. Christmas reminds us that everyone – even the one who annoys us the most – is unique, precious, unique and made in the image and likeness of God. It reminds us that everyone was once a small child, once held by someone, once trusted.
Peace, Christmas tells us, is not the absence of conviction or even strong opposition, but rather the presence of mercy in the midst of “the good fight.”
Children, of course, should always be at the heart of Christmas. We see them gathered in the tree: little boys and girls with bright eyes, shiny faces, and flowing curls, holding them in awe. But if we allow ourselves a moment of noble reflection, we may see that they are not alone – that their angels are standing beside them, smiling, hands on their shoulders, invisible but listening, happy not only in their present beauty, but in what they are becoming.
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Because these children are growing up.
They will have wild dreams just like ours. They will pursue desires in a realistic way, experience glorious adventures, experience joys like heartbreak, and sorrows just as intense. Christmas asks us to rejoice that the world does not end with us; we rejoice that youth will be born again, again and again, long after our stories are over.
And finally, apart from these children and their angels, Christmas calls us to invite other boys and girls into our homes, too: the children we had; children who grew up too quickly; we naturally loved children but could not protect them as much as we wished. They gather in the glow of the Christmas tree, too, drawn by its promise that innocence is not an illusion, and wonder not a lie.
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Indeed, Christmas tells us that childhood is not something we lose – because nothing is lost with God. It is something that is meant for us to be healed, to end grief, to be strengthened by love and guided by faith.
Christmas does not require us to solve all the complex problems of our lives. It does not insist that our lives be free of anger, sadness, suffering and stress. It simply invites us to come out of the cold and “rest a while” in front of something sacred. Those are the words spoken by the One whose birthday we celebrate on Christmas Day.
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And so, this Christmas, we welcome you everything and everyone else taking their place next to us next to the Christmas tree.
We accept the past without bitterness. We welcome the dead without despair. We embrace old dreams without disappointment.
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We accept enemies without surrender. We welcome children – seen and unseen – with gratitude.
And in doing so, we discover that Christmas has always welcomed us; he welcomes us to the peace that passes all understanding, and to the eternal and boundless joy of the Child who is laid in a manger.
